Farewell, Michael

Some of you knew Michael Huber. He died last October and his celebration of life was May 10 on Orcas Island, where he was a sea kayak guide and where he lived for 20 something summers. I met him in 1969, and he once said we grew up together - another way to say we shared our lives while coming of age. So here are a couple of poems - one for now, one from then. Vaya con Dios, Miguel.

Coming Home from Michael’s Celebration of Life

Time Travel 

We sat on her cool

kitchen floor tiles

Stroking Tyler

While

Nameless emotions

swelling in waves

breaking,

retreating, recharging

returning in force

carried me on riptides

of memory

back to years of youth 

His - and mine

Bittersweet

The refrigerator at my back

held me upright

as thoughts 

tumbled without form

Slowly, slowly

I washed to shore

Tyler stretched

and we all walked out

into the Spring sunshine

to eat ice cream

Today.

~May, 2024

I wrote this poem shortly before I moved to Oregon with Michael:

Why, again, this nameless yearning,

reaching, straining, trying to fill

this gaping (w)hole

inside my soul

I sit so quietly on this hill.

Spring, 1974

Dayenu

 After my last blog post, Laura asked how poems come to me. Her well-worded question, my response, and a couple of examples of what I mean became this blog. 

Not a Clue

Laura asked,

How do poems come to you?

Not a clue.

An idea, amorphous and green,

    begins budding, 

Requesting, demanding

To be written

So I start

Never knowing

what will unfurl.

Then...

Clarity comes quickly

or

What emerges doesn’t capture my thoughts

or

I don’t understand the words that flow

or

the poem I originally intended never appears

Often there are several poems in the ideas, 

though not all fully emerge

How do poems come to me?

Truly, 

not a clue.

~April, 2024

 

Dayenu (Take 2)

(Translation from Hebrew: It would have been enough)

Dayenu: Woven into Jewish culture, into songs,

lies invisible, a bedrock belief.

When we don’t have enough

food

shelter

safety

purpose

love

Getting anything

means the world

Then, finally met, needs and desires

become 

Givens

And we want more

Dayenu 

rooted 

in past need

rejoices

in our wealth of having

celebrates

what would have been enough.

Dayenu.

~April, 2024

Dayenu (Take 1)

The character,

a French, Jewish,

World War II resistance

fighter/assassin

(catapulted into action by watching 

his wife and daughter

shot in the back

        by Nazis)

Seeks a reason

to go on living

after victory

(not peace)

ends the war.

Fearing to admit 

his Judaism

Wracked by having taken

19 lives

He finds a refuge,

not without conflict,

perhaps with redemption.

Each step forward brings

some relief

much still lacking

Each step forward,

immersed in

Dayenu,

seeking grace,

reminds us,

in the midst of despair,

to look backward with gratitude

Then forward

to freedom.

~April, 2024

*The Glass Chateau by Stephen Kiernan

It’s Spring -Some Days

 

Like Spring (which seems to be having trouble making up its mind about arriving - or not), my thoughts range from a bit of dark, metaphorical humor to the bright joy of creativity. 

My Brother Needs a Keeper

My brother needs

a keeper

But Not Me!

He’d never listen

We’re too different

He won’t admit

he needs help

If/when he does…

He’ll be a handful

Demanding

Complaining

Grumpy

My brother needs 

a keeper

He’s lost his way

and

his ability to 

find it again

He’s lost

and doesn’t? won’t?

know

And…

Without help

will he/he will

bring harm 

to us all

My brother needs

a keeper

Who will do it?

and how?

~March, 2024

“My creativity feeds me.”  ~Hilary

Once I thought creativity

required a finished product

a tangible result

Now I believe that definition 

way too narrow,

confining,

partial, incomplete, 

wanting

Creativity, woven 

into perceiving the world

askew,

becomes

A part of the fabric

of our very being

of our souls

A part we can share with the world

while staying safely 

anonymous.

Here! Here I am!

in my art

See me, hear me, know me!

But…

I remain private

by not sharing 

whence comes the flow

that feeds

your experience

Our creativity is how

we share our souls

when the world’s too scary

to show aught else.

~March, 2024